A little thought.

I've been listening to stories from my friends and looking at photos from Facebook made me realize am I such a pussy? (Excuse the language.)

People are getting their 1st kiss at 16 or 17 at least. I had the chance of mine but I blew it, because I'm such a pussy to think that I can have the perfect 1st kiss at the rooftop under the stars. Is talking things slow not part of living? It's true that we only live once but can we take things slow and enjoy the good first, do priorities first, and try to live for yourself first. How about living the present first, right?

I'm so ashamed that it felt like I'm living in the 21st century. Is being patient too much to ask? I don't want anybody gone in my life, what I need is time. Time to adjust from everything. I'm not a spontaneous person. It took me a year to adjust from my college and boy, it was worth it. If I have to adjust some stuff for just one person I can make it in less than a year as long as I can have all the help that I need. I like Iggy but I don't know if he's willing to wait and I don't want to know the answer to that. I enjoy being with his company, I'm happy every time we have time and I don't want that to end I don't want anything to end, I just want to live for now.

It keeps me thinking if what I did was wrong and if  it is then that's the reason he's so cold to me. We're back to square one. But I'm not giving up, I'm not ready to give up.

I made compromises to make things work and I'm so blank to think what changed.  But whatever, I set the record to take things slow, I just I don't what he's thinking about.

I have my sleepless, smoking, and drinking sessions alone. -CrischelleA.